This is a guest-post by my friend, Mort Duffingfield, who wanted to share his thoughts with the world without the Writers Guild of America (WGA) tracking him down and killing him for being a scab (that means crossing the picket line).
Confessions Part 1: Scabbing Rules, Striking Drools
By Mort Duffingfield, WGA Writers Strike Scab
I was thinking about something the other day: If you're in the Writers Guild of America and you're on strike, what CAN you write? Can you write an email to a friend? What if there's a joke in that email – will you get kicked out of the WGA? What if you're a pro writer and you just can't stop writing?
I bet there's some professional Hollywood writer out there who's going home after standing in the picket line all day with all these great ideas in their head and they just have to write them down. Then the next day they're talking to their writer friend and they say:
"Hey Erma, I had this awesome idea for the next episode of [INSERT CRAPPY SITCOM TITLE] where [INSERT CRAPPY CHARACTER] falls asleep on the couch and then [OTHER CRAPPY CHARACTER] puts shaving cream on their hand and tickles their face. It was such a great scene that I wrote it down as soon as I got home last night!"
And then BAM! Erma goes to the WGA Inquisitor General and that writer with the great shaving cream idea is kicked out of the Guild for secretly scripting hilarious scenes at home after picketing all damn day.
That's why I decided to become a Writers Strike scab - so I wouldn't have to deal with all the bull@#$% that these WGA writers have to deal with. If I want to sit around and write an awesome new jewel heist screenplay, I can do it without worrying that I'll have my fingers broken by a WGA enforcer. If I want to write a shampoo commercial just for fun, no one's going to rat me out to the big wigs. Being a scab is tops.