Candy Fan: Lifesavers Jellybeans Pastels flavor review

Obviously, you know that I like comic books. And as you can tell from my podcast, the AudioShocker, I have interests in music, movies, and television. But what you may not know is this: I am a candy connoisseur.

Being as such, I decided to try the new Lifesavers Jellybeans: Pastels. I almost left the store with the new Nerds Jellybeans (hey, they're covered in a crunchy Nerds crust - how cool is that?), but these more classic jellybeans won out. Here's a breakdown of the flavors and what you can expect from this new Lifesavers product.

Banana - Artificial banana flavor can be a tricky thing to pull off successfully. This bright yellow jellybean succeeds in the sense that the banana flavor is light (with the oddest touch of mild nuttiness). That way, even if you don't like the taste it doesn't last too long. However, the overall flavor palette of this jellybean selection would be stronger if this banana submission was omitted.

Blueberry - Uggghhhh. So depressing. This baby blue jellybean was the very reason that Lifesavers beat out Nerds and made it back to my desk. But after tasting this one, it's obvious that it's by far the worst of the bunch. It tastes like the worst possibly Smarties you could ever imagine, mixed with a hint of foul berry. Blueberry serves only to drag down this set of flavors.

Cotton Candy - Oddly enough, this one is pretty good. Cotton candy is normal a loser flavor, but Lifesavers plays this one close to the vest and succeeds. This light pink jellybean tastes like the real deal. I heard complaints from others who tried this flavor and I understand - it is a bit perfumey. But I like the follow through. This is one of the better flavors.

Mango Medley - At first taste, this was my favorite of the bag. On second thought, it's just okay. Like the cotton candy flavor, this mango essence is perfumey. Problem is, this light orange jellybean tastes too much like perfume. The result is a slightly puckered face and a confusing experience. This one can go either way, candy fans.

Pina Colada - I am shocked by the authenticity of this pina colada flavor. I think the trick is that this white jellybean relies on the coconut to sell the taste, as opposed to the pineapple. It goes down smooth. It’s probably the best of this collection. As a side note, I swear I detected the most subtle hint of bacon while eating this jellybean. I am not making that up.

Red Raspberry - This lavender jellybean was an enigma at first. Raspberries are not purple, and this jellybean was a visual misnomer. The flavor doesn't lend itself to definite interpretation either. Like the banana, the taste is light. This would definitely be a better bean if it were stronger tasting. The raspberry flavor is decent, just barely there. This is the middle mark of the bunch.

Strawberry Kiwi - As much as I hate to see the ludicrous combination of strawberry and kiwi all the time nowadays, most of items with this flavor taste pretty good. It's like the fruit punch of the 2000s. And in keeping with its reputation, the light red strawberry kiwi jellybean in this bag is pretty good. Definitely more heavy on the strawberry end of the flavor, though. This one is a keeper.

Watermelon - Fans of artificial watermelon flavor rejoice. This chewy light green bean gives a quick kick of sweet watermelon as you bite into it. It fades fast, but the flavor is intense. For me, it was too strong (thus emphasizing the artificialness of the watermelon a bit too much). But others disagreed with me, noting this one as their favorite in the bag. I think it's up towards the top, but it's not quite as good as the pina colada.

Overall Flavor Rating: 6.8 out of 10

P.S. I figured it out. It's the combination of pina colada and banana that brings out the slightest hint of bacon grease. Weird!